Valentine’s Day. It’s the best of times or the worst of times. From the first kindergarten card exchange, we all begin to feel validated or vandalized by this unavoidable bombardment of mushy cards and candy hearts. Immediately, we understand the less we receive on this infamous day, the less we are loved.

Many of us have grown up feeling our value is measured in the flutters we feel from words of affirmation on paper hearts, gathered up in red roses, or melting away in empty boxes of chocolate. But the love on parade during Valentine’s Day should be based on so much more than momentary, flashy displays of affection.

I’ve come to understand that love is commitment. It’s not a feeling because feelings fade. It’s not an emotion because emotions can be deceiving. More than anything else, love seems to me to be a determination—a determination to hold onto something or someone even when everything else in your world falls to pieces at your feet. Much like the glitter and string from those cheesy Valentine’s Day cards that all of our mothers adored us for.

This Valentine’s day, don’t let this world convince you love is found in anything but the determination displayed on Calvary’s cross. Don’t be fooled into thinking love is merely a soft, fluffy token of affection like a stuffed teddy bear from your latest crush. The love Christ displayed is intense, gritty, and yet strong enough to bind us to Him for all eternity!

We should all understand this when pursuing any relationship because the love we profess should be modeled after His! Although love can be soft and beautiful like the coveted, candlelit dinner date on Valentine’s night, it can also be intense and painful like the forgiveness required for a loved one’s lie or betrayal.

Please don’t misunderstand me! Everyone should feel the glee and giddiness of Valentine’s Day! So please, blow up those balloons. Bling out those cards. Swagger those Build-a-Bears! But remember what love really looks like—bruised and broken for your sake. A letter signed in blood, sealed by love, and delivered to you for all eternity!