At the start of the new calendar, my friends and I select a word or the year. This I chose the word vulnerable. I have had a tough time within these couple months, I have felt very vulnerable, hurt, embarrassed, emotional and tired.

These months have been so trying and I’ve heard this over and over … Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God… I will be exalted in all the earth.”

As trying as these months have been, it has also been very wonderful. I graduated college, began to publish a devotional, with the help of God. This is a project I began developing over six years ago. I also started a new job. In the midst of all that I was still struggling hard with my emotions. I was worried about being vulnerable; it’s so funny that I feared the very word I chose!

The word I select each year is not at. It’s not like I open a dictionary, point my finger at a random word and live by that for the year. It is an intentional act. I pray and consecrate myself. The thing I find that I struggle with is learning to trust that the word God selected for me will be used in my life and it will bless me.

Webster’s defines the word vulnerable as: “Liable to increased penalties but entitled to increased bonuses after winning a game in contract bridge : capable of being physically or emotionally wounded : open to attack or damage.”

There are few things I dislike in life, crutches being one of them, I have always had a great distain for crutches since I was sentenced to a few months on them as a child. They were uncomfortable, made me feel insecure and were such a hassle. Just like my distain for the actual things I strongly dislike the use of metaphorical crutches. Emotions and vulnerability for me were my metaphorical crutches. I would not lean on them for anything. Anytime there was a situation or moment when I felt like getting emotional I would swallow those feelings and choke back the tears.

What God is teaching me in this season is that I needed to feel what I was going through. I’m the person who even though everything seems to be going wrong, I will say all is well. I do this in an effort to convince myself to believe it too. The issue with that is, I hardly take time out to acknowledge where I am at in life. I deal with what is thrown at me and keep trucking.

Maybe you are reading is now and feel like you can relate. I just want to let you know that God has a purpose for your situation. There is nothing too hard for God, nothing too big for Him and He cares about you deeply.

Trust Him, He is working all things out for your good! Let Him be the crutch you lean upon. He is not afraid of your emotions. He welcomes them. The Bible says to taste and see that the Lord is good. You will go through challenging situations in life, but those end up being your most powerful experiences and most effective testimonies and witnessing opportunities.