The Necessary No

Posted by: in Rachel Skirvin on April 8th

Have you ever had your heart set on something in such a way that you thought hearing “No,” would absolutely devastate you? Working with children, though rewarding, can warrant the use of the word “No” more often than not. “Can I touch the hot stove?” “May I eat cookies for dinner?” May I hit my sister when she makes me upset?” It might sound obvious, but the answers to the aforementioned questions should not be a resounding “Yes.” For the protection and the growth of little ones, and teenagers, the responses they receive, though often frustrating for them, are necessary. I hate to say it, but even as adults, we might not always get the answers we so desire.

Every age and stage of life faces rejection. Maybe it is the college letter that states “We regret to inform you that you have not been selected.” Perhaps it’s your high school boyfriend or girlfriend that leaves you heartbroken and lonely. It could come in the form of a friend betraying you, never hearing back from a job you applied for, watching your parents walk through a divorce, or seeing a grandparent graduate to heaven after you begged God to let them stay. Life is complicated and it could go without saying that we do not and cannot always get what we want. Even in those times, God is still good and His way is still the best.

Just like a loving father corrects his child as he or she reaches for the stovetop burner, our Heavenly Father quietly (or sometimes vehemently) redirects us when He sees us getting off course or about to do something that could harm us. The same goes for the moments when we petition God for the things we want. Of course, He loves to give his children good gifts, and many times He grants us the desires of our hearts, but he will never do so to the detriment of our souls or well-being. Our requisitions need to align with His will and purpose for our lives and His kingdom.

Believe me, friends, I know what it is like to ask God over and over again for something only to receive an answer completely opposite of what I prayed for. It shakes your faith. I get it. However, in those seasons God teaches us some of the greatest lessons we will ever learn. You see, what we think we need, can many times be something that could potentially destroy us. Only our gracious Savior knows the future and where our choices would lead us. What you are seeking may no doubt look appealing. You may think your life would be perfect and complete once you’ve achieved that goal, or received that answer. However, God, in His infinite kindness and wisdom might just be using a “necessary no” right now in order to give you His best “Yes,” in the future. If your hands are closed tightly, holding what you thought you needed, you cannot obtain what He actually has for you- which is always better than we could imagine or plan. Contrary to popular belief, sometimes it is essential to take “No” for an answer.




Rachel is a lover of travel, nachos, and the gospel. She is a graduate of Urshan College and will most likely always call it Gateway. She recently graduated with her master’s degree in counseling and human services and is currently serving at The Pentecostals of Cooper City in South Florida.

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