Developing Your Relationship with Your Pastor

Posted by: in Editorials, Relationships on February 22nd


When Christ celebrated His triumph over sin and death through the cross, He gave gifts to those whom He set free. Obviously, His grace bestowed upon us gives us the most wonderful gift a person could ever obtain – salvation. Nevertheless, in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he spoke about another gift that is necessary for maintaining the salvation we received – that gift is pastors.

Pastors play a significant role in our lives. They provide vision, guidance, and correction. In fact, it is God’s mandate for them to prepare the saints for the work of the ministry, resulting in the edification of the church.

There seems to be some challenges when it comes to young people’s relationship with their pastors. Because the devil knows how important their role is, he tells us lies such as “they are too old to know what you’re going through,” “your pastor doesn’t need to know about this,” and “your pastor is too busy for your concerns.” We ought not to believe these. As young people we should pursue a healthy relationship with our pastors for the sake of our souls.

1.Be a disciple of your pastor

Next to the Holy Spirit and the Word of God, pastors are God-given teachers, mentors and guides. We must consider ourselves as their students, learning from the example and teachings of our pastors. It doesn’t mean that we are trying to become a replica of them, but sitting down “at their feet” gives them the opportunity to sow the first seeds that will make our life fruitful in the Kingdom of God.

Let’s invest time with our pastors. Listen to their advice and observe their walk with God. Often the most impactful message that our pastors would ever preach is their own life and example.

2.   Be a servant to your pastor

The greatest spiritual leaders and ministers we can find in the Scriptures were servants to their pastors or leaders. Joshua served Moses in many occasions. Samuel “ministered unto the Lord before Eli” (I Samuel 3:1). David was Saul’s armour bearer and harp player, making his king’s physical and spiritual loads lighter. In the Kingdom of God, service – indeed- precedes greatness.

To lighten our pastors’ load, we must be sensitive, intentional and available. Loads may be in a form of an emotional baggage, stress due to the amount of work that is expected to be done or spiritual loads that are inevitable as they carry the burden of the people in their hearts. We don’t need to know every issue that our pastors are facing, but we can share the burden with them through interceding and letting them know that we are praying for them. Asking them what we can do for them to lessen their work load is also an efficient way to lighten our pastors’ burden. Of course, we must not only ask them what we can do for them, but also get it done!

3. Be loyal to your pastor.

 The temptation of disloyalty comes to everyone especially because our pastors, like us, are human beings with weaknesses. Disagreement and offense will come. The devil, through these, would try to put doubts in our hearts, leading us to question their authority over us. We must guard our hearts from this temptation.

We must also shun any disloyal comments against our pastors. There are people whose primary mission is to sow discord and disloyalty in the church. They cause confusion and division, and having a conversation with them is unavoidable. Their “seeds” come in a form of grievance. A wise response to this is to say, “I’m sorry for what you feel. However, in your case, it is better for you to have a conversation with our pastor.” If it involves other people, just don’t add anything to what they say and change the topic of the conversation. If you can’t change it, leave the group politely.

There are more ways to develop and protect our relationship with our pastors. Whatever it takes, let’s build and nourish our connection with them.

There is a reason why they are our pastors and the Scripture tells us they were given to us according to the heart of God.  They are not perfect but I have never seen a person with a strong relationship with his or her pastor walk away from the truth and from their calling. Let’s love, honor and serve our pastors. It’s all worth it.


Raymart was born and raised in Manila, Philippines. As a third-generation apostolic believer, his exposure to the things of God developed a burning desire to be involved in the ministry. Three years ago, his desire moved him to Canada to become an international Bible college student at Northeast Christian College. He is a licensed minister with the Atlantic District of UPCI, the section 2 youth representative of the district, youth pastor of Ripples United Pentecostal Church, and a graduate school student at Urshan Graduate School of Theology pursuing Master of Arts in Christian Ministries (Intercultural Studies).

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