As I stood in the hospital room, looking down at my eleven-year-old sister taking her last few breaths, I asked a question we all ask God in a trial: “Why?” My mind was making no sense as to what was happening and why it was so sudden. I have been reminded over the years not to question God but to trust His ways are higher than our own. In this moment, I thought I could be excused from that advice. Little did I know those were and still are words that sustain my peace and strength. I silently prayed, “I can’t do this without You, God.” I continued to pray for His will to happen even when I had no clue what that really meant for my sister or me.

In these moments we learn to get real with God—when something bad happens. Psalm 46:1 reads, “God is our refuge and strength a very present help in trouble.” But do we give Him a way to be our refuge and strength when our world isn’t crumbling down around us? I was desperate for a move of God. I refused to believe anything the doctors were telling me. My heart sank and I became broken before the Lord. Finally, with every inch of my flesh fighting to accept what was happening, I told God, “She’s Yours.” I prayed for hours and hours, yet His response came in one, swift moment. Peace. The peace we learn about in the Bible; the kind that passes all understanding; that was the peace I felt.

My sister was a millennial with an old soul and an exceptional sense of integrity. I remember one specific, unfair encounter with some friends of hers. One friend made a rude comment and began to exclude another friend from a special event right in front of my sister. The way my sister responded behind the scenes showed a loyalty like I’ve never seen in an eleven-year-old girl. She spoke to my mom about what happened and said if one person was specifically excluded, she agreed to take herself out of the situation, too because she knew the one friend’s motives were wrong.

That kind of boldness and honor truly is unique, especially in children, but she was a true friend. She honored the scripture found in II Corinthians 8:21, “Providing for honest things, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of men.” God knew her heart and intentions, but she chose to take action on her honest feelings and the Lord rewarded her for that. Having that kind of integrity is consequential to spiritual success and is something we can all learn from.

My sister may not have known the impact she had on so many people, but her example of integrity continues to inspire me daily. No one but God knew that my sister would leave this earth and enter into eternity with her Savior in the springtime of her life. No one but God can understand your every thought, feeling, and intention. Pointing our lives to Jesus when life just gets tough is the hardest, yet most fulfilling thing we can do. He already knows our struggles from the inside out, but sometimes it just feels good to tell Him anyway.

Back to II Corinthians 8, “Providing for honest things, not only in the sight of The Lord….” God sees us at our worst yet gives us the best. He sustains us when we are low and goes above and beyond when we feel blessed. Trusting in His timing and plans is not always easy. That is the honest truth. But I will tell you to hold on. Hold onto peace. Hold onto strength. Hold on through every trial, every doubt, every fear, and every moment within reach.

Hannah Katt lives in Arkansas and works as a nanny to three boys. Her passions include being involved in worship and kids’ ministry at Calvary Tabernacle in Bentonville, Arkansas as well as baking, thrifting, and “do it yourself” projects.