All I Want Is a KitchenAid
Recently I took a really exciting step and purchased a KitchenAid mixer for myself. Now you may be thinking “She’s so lame. Who even cares?” But for me it was a really exciting addition to my countertop and my life. I’ve wanted one for years and years, and I’d always assured my mom that if it came down to it, I’d take a KitchenAid over a boy any day. While she may not have agreed or supported my ramblings, she was truly happy for me when I announced my beloved purchase.
We all have things we desire or long for; things that consume our thoughts, conversations, and our spending habits. These desires can be for relationships, looks, wealth, clothes, brands, fame, and so on. As Christians we seek to live a life that prioritizes and focuses on God and His kingdom. We know the importance of putting Him first, of sacrificing our will to His, of seeking His plan. We hear much teaching about the dangers of the flesh and how we must learn to trust God, but even then, we struggle with the idea of what that looks like.
To us, living in God’s will is constant sacrifices and giving up our desires. While I know that sacrifice is absolutely part of what God has called us to, I am writing this to remind you and me of the peace and the blessings that accompany learning to trust God.
Not long ago I was reading in the Bible, jumping back and forth between Joshua 1 and John 14. In both of these chapters, we find a people in transition, a people with plans and hopes, with desires and passions; a people getting ready to have their worlds changed. Joshua had just stepped up as the leader of the Israelites and was preparing to lead them into the long awaited Promised Land. In John, Jesus was saying goodbye and preparing the hearts of the people to lose him.
As I was reading these chapters, I began to think about my own life and the recurring struggles I deal with that almost always involve the changing of my plans. I began considering why I struggle so much with the trust factor in my relationship with God, and I realized that it boiled down to a simple matter of sometimes I don’t think God cares if I’m happy.
I realize that may be slightly offensive to read, but somewhere I decided I had to give up what I wanted and follow God in order to follow His will. While that may be the case in many moments, my view had turned negative and dark, and my relationship with God had been shaded into a haze of sadness and loneliness.
Rather than loving my relationship with God, I had loved other things and then tried to have a relationship with God on top of that, leaving no room for Him in my heart. That is truly a painful balance, one that leaves you feeling unfulfilled and longing for more. The cycle continues as you sacrifice what you love for your relationship with God, leaving the hole and filling with something else yet again.
If you have ever experienced this, you understand the how it can leave you distrustful of the loving God we serve. Coming to terms with the way my mind and my heart had operated was the hard part. Putting action behind intentionally trusting God with my happiness was surprisingly a bit easier.
I changed the direction and the verbiage of my prayers, turning them from “Please let this happen and this work out” to “Lord, put me where you want me and give me peace.”
If you struggle with where you are headed—if you feel like you’re always waiting and struggle with trust—I encourage you to sit down with your Bible, open it to almost any page, and there you will find evidence of our God who loves His people and guides them down paths toward mercy and goodness.
I’m thankful for the peace He gives and the constant grace He provides as we do this thing called life.
Olivia Dummer is a student in Blue Springs, Missouri where Jason Huckaby is her pastor. She writes and keeps an inspirational blog hoping to encourage others and share what she’s learned about God.