A Selfish God
I can see it now. Your eyebrows are raised, your lips pursed, and your head is tilted slightly to the side in wonder and confusion. You read the title above and already have your preconceived ideas about how this article will unfold. Don’t let the heading scare you away. I promise it will make sense if you will just give it a chance.
Think for a moment about the word selfish. We all have encountered a jealous or selfish person at one point or another. I am sure you have learned from experience that they are not the most pleasant people to interact with. They want things done their way, and until that it is the case, they are not satisfied. Because of that, the word selfish is primarily used in a negative connotation.
The next few paragraphs will not portray this trait in the undesirable way you’re familiar with. Remove yourself from what you have always known selfishness as, and—as crazy as it sounds—look at it from God’s point of view.
To be selfish is to be human, but from God’s standpoint, we have a different story. Exodus 20:5 portrays the God of the universe being…jealous? Yeah, you read that right. “For I the Lord thy God am a jealous God…” It does not get much clearer than that. He wants your attention. If you really think about it, He deserves it. He deserves first place in your life. After all, He is the reason you are alive. When He becomes the first rank, everything else will start to fall into place. Seek ye FIRST the kingdom… (Matt 6:33).
There was a time I was praying specifically about this matter, and God gave me a vision. It was a bit unorthodox. There were no wondrous signs or descending angels. There was nothing, literally nothing. I saw a completely empty white room. I was secluded. There were no doors or windows, no people to run to, no place to hide, and no switch to turn the light off. I felt a tug at my heart as tears streamed down my perplexed face. “What if this was all you had? If I took away everyone and everything you hold dear, how much would you trust Me? If the clutter and commotion were ripped away, would I be your first priority then?” I realized why I had been feeling so noticeably removed from His presence; I had no room in my agenda for Him. I was not making time for the God who created time.
When you place so many things before Him and set Him on a backburner, He gets jealous. Although He is a gentleman, He will often go to extreme measures to get you back. When you crowd your mind with personal needs, self-seeking aspirations, and what you think is the best way, your life becomes too noisy and crowded to hear the one voice that really counts; the One who knows far better than you ever could.
While you try and create your own solution, He so urgently shouts “Come to Me, listen to Me, I AM the answer you are looking for.” The solution is within reach, but it’s difficult to see or hear until you relinquish control and the things labeled important and vital are removed. Until you subtract your will to add His.
When you fight against Him and don’t let Him in, you will never win. At times He will let you go through tough seasons for various reasons, often to make you realize you can’t do this thing called life on your own. It is often in those times of solitude and brokenness that the greatest healings and miracles take place because that is when you are seemingly forced to lean on and trust Him.
When everything is taken from you and nothing seems to be going right, it could simply be because the One who loves you more than anyone ever could is gently demanding your attention. Selfishly desiring you while you selfishly push Him away. So clear your schedule and make room for Him. Perhaps He is even desiring to keep you all to Himself for the time being. Do not fight it or run in the other direction or try to figure it out on your own. He is waiting for you with open arms to heal you, to restore you, and to love you just the way you need—just the way you are.
Rachel Thorne was born in Florida and has lived in many places throughout the United States. She is currently attending Urshan College, formerly known as Gateway College of Evangelism. She wants to make a difference and change her world. Rachel is actively seeking the will of God for her life and is willing to do whatever He has for her.